Written by Kristin Smith
Feeling Divine Inspiration from my Chi for Two Embodiment Training
Chi for Two helps me release any kind of sensation (anger, sadness, frustration, shame, or guilt). All of the movement expressions are accepted so they can be released instead of shut down. Metaphorically speaking my claws (fighting rhythms) no longer attack myself in the form of self-criticism and self-blame. When the urge to hurl a pot at my lover’s head is celebrated (sans the pot) I have the energy to push the vacuum or hammer the nail. When I have access to use my body for pushing, pulling, writing, lifting, swinging, and holding…. I feel ready for bedtime once the sun sets. I feel safe enough to fall asleep because I have healed traumatic activation and no longer oscillate between fight/flight and shutdown.
The safety I sense in my body (ability to know my NO and say my NO) means I can connect with others I used to perceive as threatening. After a group interaction I feel ready for rest and I can rest. Then after I rest I can write, paint, or create a new recipe because my prefrontal cortex is functioning optimally from the co-regulating interactions and restorative rest I experienced earlier. I now have the time, energy, and motivation to take care of myself, my community, and mother nature.
I can live with self-governance because I am safe and so is every living human on the planet who has learned from infancy to access their social engagement systems quickly and easily after a perceived threat. My circle of support is every step I take and move I make because I have full autonomy of my energy sphere. I can live present in each season because resources are abundant. It’s fun “I get to” rather than anxiety-producing “I have to, got to” collect seeds for the cold winter months since I know I can ask my neighbor or travel to a different place if I don’t have enough seeds.
I can explore different parts of the world before considering exploring various parts of my mind. Our historical drive to escape our reality in the form of mind-altering substances feels like “I get to,” rather than a desperate “I have to, got to.” I can freely explore because there is universal body language that allows me to connect and experience novelty like the first time I saw a bird fly.
I can be and be with and without the old paradigm of never enough.
Here is where I want to be and you is who I want to be with.
